Q. How do I get my girl to dress nasty?

A. Look around. I am 57 years old. In all my days I have never seen young women and girls dress more provacactively and with less regard to showing skin, than in the last few years.

If your girl isn't showing her belly or her hips or some ass or some breastuses, then my only question is, Are you sure you're with a girl?



Nowadays the only thing that the chickies like to do better than snack on X and blow you, is to show the world that they're not that innocent. And this is while out in public!

If you have found yourself with someone from the wrong end of the bell curve, maybe you need to look at yourself. Maybe you come off like a perv.

Don't gawk at the ladies at the club and dont look down her shirt. Be a good boy and you'll have your chance to check her out - and then some. Trust me. My wives may shop at Goodwill, but underneath those long skirts are garters, strap-ons, and crotchless panties, sucka.

If your woman asks what you want for your birthday, point at a catholic girl skirt. If she says that she's real sorry for something and she wants to make it up to you, point at the leather hot pants and the tank top that says Slut in cursive.

Let them teach you how to touch them, you need to tell them what to wear in the sack. But no matter what they wear, compliment like an imbecille.

Remember, though, you're a loser and you really have no business with any chick at all. So don't be an asshole about it. Your role in the show is that of the audience, not of the critic. If she asks you how you like it, let your jaw fall until the saliva sparkles. stutter, you know, be yourself.

next question: How do I get my girl to go down on me?